


Winter's Rose and Night's Cloak

by jbwritesthings



Series: Dragon Age: A Legacy [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Romance, Tragic Romance, idk just read it, sad shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 13:53:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12865899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jbwritesthings/pseuds/jbwritesthings
Summary: A visit between former lovers, a search for a cure, and a reminder of nights past. (King Alistair/Female Warden Mahariel)





	Winter's Rose and Night's Cloak

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt sent to me on tumblr which turned out longer than I thought it would. I've warped the timeline slightly and it takes place during Dragon Age II, after King Alistair returns from Kirkwall and takes place before the Silent Grove comics. Alistair rules alone in my world set up and he was not hardened.

Denerim had certainly made a comeback since she had last been there. It had been years and the work done was amazing. Ceridwen had spent so long abroad, working with the wardens but more importantly, looking for her answers, looking for some hint of a cure. And every bit of information she had found so far had only seemed to make her run about in a circle, chasing dead ends and empty legends. It almost seemed like a wild chase, as many of the older Wardens had warned her. But everything in Thedas seemed to hit ends, even Fiona hadn’t been much assistance. She may have to venture beyond Thedas to find the answer for the cure for the Taint.

It would be a dangerous trek. And before doing that, she knew she wanted to do one thing before then. To see him again. Just one last time. She’d sent word of her visit, hoping he would have the time to see her. She knew he was busy with his duties, but she had been with hers as well.

And so that was why she was in Denerim. To see Alistair again, just in case she wouldn’t get the chance in the future. He had, though, apparently gone off to Kirkwall on a political matter, which was poor timing. She couldn’t linger in Denerim long. No matter how much she wanted to wait for him. The longer she delayed, the longer it would take for her to find the cure.

The snow was fresh as she sat in the garden, ear tips red from the cold. Red hair played a stark contrast to her dark blue cloak and the bright white snow. Ceridwen had come out to the garden to think. She always felt better outside thinking than inside, it made her mind a bit clearer. Perhaps because it reminded her of her roots, where she had come from. It was less cluttered than within stonewalls. The cold, fresh, brisk hair brought back memories and she couldn’t help but close her eyes as the wind tousled her hair. She heard the crunch of the snow, opening her eyes and looking to the door to the castle.

She felt her heart skip a beat at the sight. Part of her was amazed he was still able to cause that reaction, even after all these years and time apart. He stood tall, dark cloak settled regally on his shoulders. His clothing spoke of a king but there was a glint in his eyes. The gentle gaze which had settled on her made her cheeks turn a redder tone than the cold had done. He noted it and she saw his own tanned skin take on a redder complexion as well. He cleared his throat, shifting awkwardly and looking less like King Alistair and more like...Alistair.

“It’s, uh, good to see you again,” he stammered out, rubbing the back of his head. “I was told you may not be in Denerim for long…”

“I was contemplating on leaving tomorrow or the next day.”

“Oh…” There was evident disappointment in his tone and Ceridwen couldn’t help the small smile creep onto her face.

“My schedule _was_ to leave today, though.”

“Oh! So you...You waited, well, I’m sorry I kept you, and…” Alistair shuffled awkwardly, looking terribly sheepish there in the snow. “But I’m glad you waited.” His sheepish look broadened into a crooked, wide smile, though, as he heard her laugh. Despite the years and the age, they hadn’t changed much around the other.

Ceridwen moved to him and he met her in the middle, both of them standing quietly as snow began to fall gently around them. They didn’t speak for a moment, seeming to take each other in, making note of the new lines on their features with age, but still youthful. Ceridwen realized the space between them was closing and she cleared her throat, taking a step back. Alistair seemed to make the realization as well, shuffling and looking down, a warm hue to his cheeks.

“So, have you news from your research and travels?” He offered her his arm like a well trained gentleman and Ceridwen placed her hand in the crook of his arm. He lead her to a bench, allowing her to sit first before he sat beside her.

“Only whispers, here and there,” she explained with a sigh. “No definite cure for the Taint yet. I may...Have to venture beyond Thedas.” She saw how his shoulders fell at that. The trip would be long, she knew, and the chances of ever seeing him again…

“It comes to that?” There was a break in his voice and she knew he was thinking the same as she.

“I have to...Ensure Amaranthine and Tamlen never happen again. To help the Wardens not have to suffer from the Calling…It’s my duty.”

“We’ve done a lot for duty, haven’t we?”

There it was, heavily falling on the snow. The painful truth of their lives. Spurred on and tied apart due to duty. Sometimes it even felt like it wasn’t necessarily their lives, but some puppet master’s laying out the paths they walk. And of course, those paths only crossed at moments few and far between.

Not answering him, instead she pressed a heated kiss to his lips, a desperate one. He was surprised for a moment, but quickly returned her affections, one hand moving up to cup her cheek. He kissed her like a dying man and she clung to him as if she were drowning. Alistair pulled her closer to him, the cold not even an afterthought as he deepened the kiss. A few moments more passed before they parted, but remained close to each other, the fog of their breaths mingling together.

“Don’t go.” Alistair’s voice was husky with a heated need and Ceridwen felt a heat settle into her. “There _must_ be another way.” How close he held her and the tone in his voice would make anyone sway to his request. And she was tempted to do so. Just throw it all away and stay there like that with him forever.

But she knew it couldn’t be. And he knew it too, even with this plea. She leaned up, pressing a short kiss to his lips before pulling out of his embrace. He didn’t stop her and settled himself back a bit, waiting to see what she had to say.

“If there was another way, I would do it,” she began. “I…” For so many years, they both had pushed their feelings to the side, trying to adhere to their respective duties. But she couldn’t lie she had lain awake some nights, thinking of him, the memory of his lying close to her still burned in her memories. And an ache came as she missed the warmth of his touch, the sound of his laughter, and the playful gleam in his eyes. “I’ve missed you...I shouldn’t have come back to Denerim it’s just...It’s harder now, seeing you again.”

Tenderly, Alistair reached up and brushed his fingers against her cheek and Ceridwen swore she could feel him having the same ache as she. Without a second thought, Ceridwen leaned into his touch, closing her eyes. A soft, gentle smile came to her lips and Alistair let out a breath he’d been holding, murmuring ‘beautiful.’

“We can find another way... _Something_...Try to keep your search in Thedas, please.” He gave a little bit of a chuckle, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “At least if you’re in Thedas, it’ll be easier for me to keep track of you…You know, in case you need a daring rescue.”

“Or maybe if you need a daring rescue,” Ceridwen countered, an amused smirk gracing her features. Alistair chuckled at that, eyes glimmering playfully and matching hers.

“You know me so well.” The humor of the conversation passed, heavy realization settling upon both of them this may be the last chance for it. Alistair leaned closer to her again and Ceridwen closed her eyes as she felt his breath caress her skin. She sucked in a shaky breath, leaning into him. “If this may be our last time seeing each other...Let’s make it memorable.”

Ceridwen felt her heart leap at that, surprised at the offer. The tone of his voice made it very evident what he meant and she couldn’t deny the idea was enticing...Painfully so. When they had ended it when he became king, she never once thought they would be like this again. She felt like her voice was caught in her throat, trying to decide to fall into her want and need or...Duty.

Alistair seemed to realize her struggle and pulled back a bit, leaving Ceridwen registering just how cold the air was. And it only made her ache for his touch even more, the lack of his warmth almost painful.

“If you decide yes, come to my chambers. If you decide no, we can forget this ever happened.” He was leaving it for her to decide. She was hardly surprised, he wouldn’t pressure her into anything. He never would.

With that, he rose to a stand, looking at her once more before turning to leave the garden. Ceridwen had a decision to make and she wasn’t sure what she would decide. She watched after where he’d gone, her mind going over what she would do.

 

* * *

 

He couldn’t believe he’d been so bold. But seeing her after so long, he’d thought he’d managed it well but…

She’d been so beautiful in the garden, the snow softly falling about her. He’d been mesmerized as soon as he’d seen her. The way the snowflakes speckled her vibrant, red hair. The soft smile as she sat, eyes closed, enjoying just...Being in nature. It was alluring to him and if he hadn’t known better, he would have thought a demon of desire had set up an illusion just for him.

And then when she had kissed him so desperately, Alistair had lost any resolve. His desire wouldn’t be silenced and he knew she had felt the same. She couldn’t ignore it just as much as he couldn’t. At least that’s what he liked to think.

Alistair leaned against the table, shoulders hunched as he contemplated what this meant. He had been trying to find a suitable queen, a wife, yet none of the options shown to him, no matter how viable, appealed to him in the least. They weren’t what Ferelden needed, no matter how well bred or how well connected they were. A proper Ferelden was what they needed and one which helped sew up wounds of divided peoples...A way to unite _all_ of Ferelden.

And that made Ceridwen the best option, as far as he was concerned. She would show the elves of Ferelden they could trust their king, she was respected as the Hero of Ferelden, and adored by a majority of the people. The only issue was the Taint. If only one of them had it, it wouldn’t be as big of a problem. But they both had it, both had limited lifespans and limited fertility. Although, if she located a cure, that could be taken care of. And knowing her determination, Alistair felt if anyone could find it, it was her. Now it was just warming up the people to the idea of a Dalish elf queen.

And that would take political maneuvering for a few years, more than likely. Something he could do while she was gone...Little hints here and there, see what else could be done. And if, no when, she returned, he would propose...Cure or no cure. They’d find a way, he was sure they could solve it if they worked together. Plus if he could just...

But maybe he was a little ahead of himself. It was getting late and she still hadn’t come. He’d been patiently watching, waiting, and then trying to find a way to distract himself. Maybe she…

Maybe she wouldn’t come and he’d only fooled himself.

 

* * *

 

Ceridwen stood outside the door to his chambers, wondering if he was nervously pacing behind the closed door. More than likely wondering if she would come or not. And wondering why he had made the offer. That would be typical of Alistair to do. And it was typical of herself to pause and think, making him wait longer. It had been easier when they were younger, when they didn’t know if there would be a tomorrow. When she’d lost Tamlen and realized waiting and dancing around the obvious kept one from happiness. No matter how short and fleeting that happiness was.

But facing that door, it gave her pause and made her think. Was this fair for both of them? She’d accepted it when he’d become king, she didn’t want to make it harder on him by her begging for them to find a way. Yet she stood outside his door, wondering if there would be repercussions for him if someone found out.

And she knew the longer she stood in the hallway, the sooner someone would notice. So she steeled her resolve and knocked on the door. She heard the sound of Alistair fumbling a bit and rushing to the door, not at all dainty on his feet. She knew he’d more than likely been waiting for a bit, perhaps even almost given up, so his excitement made sense. Ceridwen could only imagine it. She couldn’t help the giggle and covered her mouth as he opened the door. He looked at her with bright eyes and a lopsided grin and Ceridwen felt an affectionate, familiar warmth spread through her.

“You came.” His voice was breathless, excited, and surprised.

“Of course I did.” Alistair moved to the side to let her in, closing the door behind her. Ceridwen could feel her stomach in knots, not turning to face him quite yet. She felt like a young girl again.

In a heartbeat, his arms were wrapped about her waist from behind and he trailed kisses along her neck. Ceridwen leaned back into his hold, closing her eyes at the feeling of how he encompassed her. The warmth of his body around hers was a long missed comfort and something which had been painfully lacking from her life. One hand moved up to entangle in his hair, her head falling back against his shoulder as she sighed.

“I’ve ached for you for so long,” he murmured against her ear, running a trail of kisses along its length. Ceridwen gave a small, pleased sound at that, nodding a little.

“So have I,” she confessed. “Some nights I wake up and you’re not there...It’s something missing.” Alistair considered this, and in a swift, easy movement, he lifted her into his arms, carrying her to the bed chamber.

“You don’t have to worry about that tonight. Neither of us will.” He gently set her on the bed, leaning over her and claiming her mouth in a heated kiss. Ceridwen gladly returned it, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down closer to her. Feeling him pressed against her, she arched her back and Alistair took the opportunity to run his hands down her form, reacquainting himself. Ceridwen was very sure they would both spend the night relearning every inch of the other and being reminded of everything which made the other sigh or moan.

 

* * *

 

Ceridwen laid in his arms, Alistair lazily running a hand through her hair as she pressed against him. It had been everything they remembered and more. There was a satisfaction both had lacked in their lives, a completion of the other laying beside them. They were, possibly, the most relaxed they’d been in years in that single moment. Ceridwen pushed herself up to look at him, getting a tired but questioning look from Alistair. She leaned down, pressing a sweet and gentle kiss to his lips and he happily returned it.

“I love you,” she said, “and I always will.” Alistair realized she was echoing words he’d told her so many years ago. His gaze softened with warmth and affection, hand moving to cup her cheek. Ceridwen closed her eyes, reveling in his touch. She couldn’t seem to get enough of it. She took a shaky breath, though. There were things they needed to talk about, to discuss.

“What is it?” The weight in Alistair’s voice made her realize he knew something was on her mind.

“I want you to be safe,” Ceridwen began, “and I’ve learned the politics a bit more...When I return, promise you’ll have a wife chosen. One who can give you the heir you need to keep people from giving you problems.”

Alistair gazed thoughtfully at her, seeming to contemplate what she said. When he didn’t respond right away, she felt the need to press, to explain. To do something to fill the silent void in the room. It made her nervous.

“I’m, uh, sure a marriage of alliance with some well-to-do human family would do well,” she stammered out, toying with a strand of her hair. “It’d be a viable option, you see, I’m sure and…”

Alistair shifted, sitting up and making himself just a breath away from her. Ceridwen felt her heart leap at that, eyes wide as she looked at him. He had an amused smirk on his features, caressing her cheek.

“I promise you, I’ll have a bride picked out by the time you return.” Ceridwen narrowed her gaze at him, seeming to try to discern if he was up to something or not. Alistair gave a laugh at that, though, pressing a kiss to her lips. “For now, let’s not worry about that. Let’s pay attention to the present.” He cupped the back of her head, bringing her in for another kiss and she happily returned it, arms wrapping around his neck and her body pressing against his.

“Fine,” she breathed as they parted from the kiss. “I don’t know what you’re plotting, but you win if you keep kissing me.”

“And how can I argue with that?” Alistair chuckled, more than happy to oblige that agreement. He wrapped an arm about her, kissing her again passionately. Ceridwen wrapped her arms about him and Alistair gently laid her back onto the bed, showering her with more kisses.

 

* * *

 

 

Alistair stood by the gate, watching as she prepared her horse for the journey. The cold air nipped at his ears, fog clouding his vision as he exhaled. He felt heavy as he watched her, the heavy cloak on his shoulders an afterthought to it. It didn’t compare, honestly. There was an uneasy silence between them as he waited, arms folded and eyes remaining focused on her. It ached to know soon she would be out of his reach.

Their eyes met and Ceridwen gave him a half hearted, encouraging smile. He couldn’t help but return it, gaze softening. He watched her intently as she neared him, his mind vaguely aware of the fact currently, both were out of sight of the guards. He looked down at her as she stopped in front of him, raising a brow.

“Stop sulking,” she ordered him. “Brooding doesn’t become a king.”

“I dunno, I heard a rumor that brooding makes a man dashing. Is it true?” His smile widened at her laughter.

“Depends on the woman, but I much prefer less brooding,” she countered. “Brooding doesn’t help anyone much, does it?”

“Hm, an interesting point...Now, what do you prefer, if you don’t prefer the brooding, dashing sort?” There was a playful tease in his tone, which caused a smile to come to her features.

“Well, tall is a good start.”

“Tall, got it.”

“Playful, enjoys joking about, even if the jokes aren’t the best.”

“Well, I have to disagree on that latter part.” Alistair grinned at her giggle.

“A good, kind heart, brave, caring, understanding but also a little impulsive at times...And an affinity for cheese.”

“Sounds like you’ve got a specific type in mind…” He took a step closer to her, noting how she sucked in a breath at his nearness.

“I may,” was all she replied as Alistair caressed her cheek. She leaned into him as he cupped her cheek, allowing him to set a kiss upon her lips. It was a sad, lingering kiss. Want and longing weighed heavily in it and Ceridwen felt her knees buckle a bit, her hands fisting against his chest, holding onto that heavy cloak. Alistair wrapped an arm around her waist, supporting her as he deepened the kiss.

“If you kiss me like that,” she said breathlessly, only an inch from his lips, “I may not leave.”

“Is that a bad thing?” He pressed his mouth to hers again with a renewed fire, wanting her near. She wanted it as well, her arms moving up to wrap around his neck. After a moment or so, she broke away. Alistair followed her for a moment but stopped as she stayed in his arms.

“I have to go.” Her voice was soft, heated, and broken but she made no motion to move out of his hold.

“I know.” And he made no attempt to release her. He leaned down, resting his forehead against hers and letting out a shaky breath. “I love you.”

“And I you,” Ceridwen breathed out, both of them closing their eyes and relishing in the warmth of the other. “Remember your promise.”

“I will.” With that confirmation from him, Ceridwen gently disentangled herself from his embrace, walking backwards, her eyes locked with his as their hands parted. She took one last breath before turning to the horse, mounting it and heading on her way. The wind billowed that claok about Alistair as he stood unmoving, watching her until she was out of sight.

“She may not come back,” the sound of his uncle’s voice broke Alistair’s trance and he looked over to him. Nervously, he rubbed the back of his neck, starting to ask. “I was aware of your affections for her the first time you two walked into Redcliffe. I’m not about to criticize it or tell anyone else about it now. But you are prepared if…?”

“She’ll come back, she always manages to, no matter what,” Alistair countered. Teagan decided to not press the matter, sighing and waving a hand.

“By the way, you received a message from Antiva,” Teagan informed him as the pair walked back into the castle. “It seemed urgent.”

Ah, yes. If Alistair could locate him then….Then he may be able to get things sorted. Get his life sorted. It was a renewed, added hope. The chance of finding his father...His father would know what to do and be better suited for all of this.


End file.
